John The Bachelor
by animachine
Summary: John and Joss must appear on the TV show The Bachelor to save a number. OC Crack Fic.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: A commercial for The Bachelor came on the other day and this story popped into my head. This is definitely an AU CRACK FIC. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I am writing. I do not own The Bachelor or POI. The mistakes are my own. ENJOY!

JOHN THE BACHELOR

Reese entered the library with his usual morning haul. Coffee for him and Shaw, a cup of Sencha Green for Finch, French donuts and a doggie danish for bear. "Just in time Mr. Reese we have a new number."

"Can I fill him in Finch, please?" Shaw asked with just a little too much glee for Reese, he had a bad feeling about the situation. "Alright proceed Ms. Shaw."

Shaw taped a picture of a pretty brunette on the glass board. "Meet Rachel Baxter, 30, single, a sales associate for a major pharmaceutical company lives in the city. "I have a question for you Reese."

John took in a deep breath and let it out, wary of what Shaw would ask. "Go ahead Shaw."

"How do you feel about warm weather?" John looked at both Shaw and Finch with a puzzled look?

"Ms. Baxter, Rachel has been picked as one of the bachelorettes to appear on this season of The Bachelor. And guess who the bachelor is going to be?" Shaw could hardly contain herself.

"It's going to be John Rooney, assets." As Shaw fell back in her chair laughing, John turned and glared at Harold.

"What is this Finch?" His voice getting murderously low.

"Mr. Reese it seems Ms. Baxter's appearing on the show The Bachelor and that has put us in a unique position. I've not determined whether she is the victim or perpetrator, but we must get close enough to her to determine that and this seemed the ideal response to the situation."

"But me Finch you know I'm not comfortable in those type of settings. I've never watched It, but the whole thing seems pretty ridiculous to me." If Finch didn't know better he could swear Reese was whining.

"Mr. Reese you're former CIA surely you can handle a room full of women." Finch rolled his eyes and shook his head as he returned to his computer screens.

"Besides I have enlisted the assistance of Ms. Shaw but also I'd like Detective Carter to help with this assignment. I hoped you would ask her," at that Shaw laughed so hard she fell off her chair. "I'm willing to take one for the team only if I can be there when you ask her."

"No!" Both men responded at the same time. "If I have to be on the show the least you could do is come with me when **we** ask her Harold," as John reluctantly text Carter to meet him and Finch at the diner in twenty.

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"Oh hell no!" As Finch and John laid out the details of the case to her. "Come on Carter where is your sense of adventure?"

"Why would you think it would be adventurous to go on a national television show to try to get a man? Do I look like I have trouble getting a man to you?"

Both men knew when to keep quite. "Look you'll be saving a life, getting a free vacation, not to mention all the pampering and trips the show provides. John was getting just a little exasperated trying to convince Carter and himself.

"No…..I'm a detective I have a reputation to maintain. Get Zoe or Root to do it."

Just then Joss' phone rang it was Shaw being Shaw. "Did they ask you yet? I wanted to be there!" as Carter put the call on speaker. "Seriously?" As she held the phone up eyeing both men so they could hear Shaw.

Finch interjected. "Detective you will not be on the show alone Ms. Shaw will be there with you to help keep an eye on Ms. Baxter." Joss thought of Shaw in a room full of emotional women who is going stop her from shooting one of them if they start getting on her nerves that's all we would need is for her to do it on camera. Carter's resolve starting to wane. "Finch isn't there a better way. Can't you hack in to some system somewhere and keep Baxter from going?"

"Detective hack is such an ugly word, I'm wounded." As he put his hand on his chest in mock distress.

If Finch didn't know better he would swear Detective Carter was whining too. He'd already heard enough of that from Reese.

"Well at least I'll fare better than you, having to choose the future Mrs. Reese out of all those women." Joss teased turning to look at John. Reese ran his hand through his hair stone faced. When Fusco and Shaw met them at the diner they began to solidify their covers.

I'll be on set as a network executive checking up on Chris Harris and the show I'll be monitoring things from one of the bungalows. Detective Fusco will be there also as Mr. Rooney's assistant. John, Shaw and Detective Carter will be on the show." John and Joss couldn't believe they were agreeing to do this but for them it's always about the mission. "Alright Finch only to keep Ms. Baxter from getting hurt or doing something dangerous" ...Fusco and Shaw exchanged a look…. Alright then everyone head home and pack we have to be there in eight hours to check in with the shows staff. We'll take a private jet to LA. Finch rubbed his hands together "Ladies and Gentlemen we are going to Hollywood."

Fusco and Shaw were sitting towards the back of the private jet having a discussion. "How much you wanna bet Reese will pick Carter out of all those women?"

That's a suckers bet you know he will even though he swears they're just friends they shook their heads "The guy needs a serious reality check, if he keeps this up I just might shoot him myself."

"What's got you two in such deep conversation?" John asked as he walked up.

"Oh nothing Fusco and I were just placing a little wager."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to all that have read and reviewed this story. Sorry it has taken so long to write this chapter it just wouldn't flow right in my head. It's a long one but I do hope you enjoy. I have watched The Bachelor and I know how crazy this show can be it is not my intention to offend anyone but I have taken some liberties with the show. I do not own The Bachelor or Person of Interest, but the mistakes are all mine. I hope you enjoy!

John The Bachelor Chapter 2

When the jet arrived the team disembarked and went their separate ways. All business that had to do with the show was handled over the next week with legal matters, production meetings, wardrobe, makeup, and logistics. John had dates to plan, menus and some surprises to set up for those special dates.

As the team came together with meetings of their own they strategized on the best way to keep Rachel safe. Carter and Shaw would become allies, and try to add Rachel to their group, hoping to keep her close that way. Communication was also worked out for the trio, Carter and Shaw would wear earwigs when not on dates or when deemed necessary, since John would be under more intense scrutiny, when information needed to be passed to him, Fusco would make an appearance as his assistant. John would still have to conduct business so being in constant contact with his firm and Fusco wouldn't look suspicious.

Finch has his computer equipment set up in bungalow near the house where the show is being filmed so he can monitor the wireless feeds of the cameras and sound equipment and track everything that was taking place on the grounds and in the house, and with him posing as a network executive, his presence was definitely going to be felt on set.

The night before the meet and greet the team managed to get together for one last planning session, Finch went over the background checks he ran on all the ladies, there were no surprises in the bunch, which meant he still hadn't determined weather Rachel was perpetrator or victim.

Finch looked up from his computer screen and spoke with a hint of levity in his voice. "One last thing Mr. Reese I would advise that you take Detective Carter, Ms. Shaw, and Ms. Baxter on as many dates as possible without garnering suspicion and please make sure they have a pleasurable time."

"Finch you seem to be having way to much fun with this whole situation." John grumbled. Then Shaw had to add her two cents. "Look Finch I have no desire to be the third or fourth wheel on a date with these two. They make me nauseous with their lovey dovey looks as it is". Shaw nodded her head towards John and Joss. We'll see how well that" just friends" thing holds up once they actually start dating each other. She mumbled to herself.

"Ms. Shaw I would ask you not to antagonize Mr. Reese, Detective Carter or for that matter any of the other cast or crew, we have a mission to fulfil." Finch intervened.

"Yes Dad," Shaw answered sarcastically.

"Is it me or are you being extremely bratty. Even for you. Don't tell me lady commando is nervous." Fusco interjected.

"I am not," Shaw pouted

John and Joss didn't bother to react to Shaw as they stepped aside to have a confab of their own, "you sure about this?" John's anxiety reflected in her eyes.

No, you?

"I just want to make sure we'll be okay when this is over."

"You're stuck with me remember." Joss smiled at him, with plans set and assurances in place everyone returned to their respective rooms and prepared for the next day.

The time to film the meet and greet had finally arrived and Joss was on pins and needles she had to keep in mind that this was to help someone in trouble and feelings had to be held in check.

When Shaw came to her room she gave Joss a quick inspection "Damn Carter you look hot, Reese is gonna swallow his tongue and we get to relive the moment on video, maybe we'll get to post that puppy on line". As Sam plopped on the bed.

"Not helping Shaw, not helping."

"Don't tell me you're nervous besides I thought you guys were just friends. You only have to pretend to like him like him."

"Again not helping!"

Joss knew what crossing the boundaries she and John had set for themselves would mean, not just for themselves but for the team, with every hug, kiss, smile, and touch those boundaries would evaporate and it would be on display for the whole world to see. After a final inspection of make up and hair, Joss motioned to Shaw" let's get this over with."

John and Chris stood outside the house. "John are you ready to meet the ladies, then let's begin," as the first limo pulled up a woman got out that could have been Kara Stanton's double. John didn't hear her name because he was trying not to respond as she came forward and pulled him into a rib cracking hug. From there the array of women was mind boggling from the sublime to the ridiculous. The first five women did seem nice Reese thought.

Number six was a woman named Shelby she wore a false baby belly under her dress and told him "I hope you'll be my future baby daddy."

Woman eight name was Capri, she was very nervous, very giggly and all she did was tell John, OMG you are sooo hot over and over.

Then along came Shaw. "Hi I'm Sameen, how ya doing? She gave him a weak handshake then as they hugged. John whispered, can you make this a little more convincing. When they separated Shaw looked at John with a wicked smile" aren't you a fine piece of man meat" and proceeded to slap him on the ass. John cringed, rolled his eyes and thought about how he would pay her back later.

Rachel was woman number twenty she was prettier than her picture a little bit shy and seemed harmless but time would tell.

The next woman name was Christie she got out of the limo greeted him cordially hugged him and wouldn't let go. Security had to come and make her release him.

The next three women were a blur, more strange than memorable. Then the last limo pulled up with Joss inside. John got nervous suddenly, he felt like a teenager waiting for his prom date.

As her long cocoa legs came out of the back of the limo he swallowed hard. Joss was wearing a short pink halter dress and she looked fantastic, her hair was in an up do with tendrils flowing down. She flashed him a big bright smile and the world ceased to exist for John Reese as he wondered what it would feel like to have those luscious legs wrapped around him. Joss began to take John in, damn if the man didn't look exceptionally hot, he wore a Gray suit and matching shirt no tie which was a nice surprise. His hair was lighter and softer then he normally wore it she began imagining what it would be like to run her fingers through it. He seemed taller as Joss walked over to meet him she hoped her nervousness would not be noticed by the camera.

"Hello, I'm Jocelyn, my friends call me Joss." John took her hand and kissed it and then hugged her as a current of electricity ran through them both.

Back at the bungalow Finch and Fusco were watching the filming. "Am I see things or is he sweating? I didn't think wonder boy was capable of human reaction. Lionel laughed, Finch shot him a look.

"Excuse me please," as John left to enter the house Joss looking after him puzzled, all the women looked up hopefully as he entered the room only to be disappointed when he left. When got back to Joss he had a rose in his hand.

"This is the first impression rose would you accept it?"

Yes, of course Joss smiled at him.

Shaw managed to find some alcohol and a quiet corner as she began grousing to Finch.

"If I have to hear how **hot **John Rooney is one more time, I'm gonna vomit Finch."

"Well Ms. Shaw the ladies seem to be ardent admirers of Mr. Reese which seems fitting, he is looking especially dapper tonight." Finch answered with a smile in his voice imagining Ms. Shaw's sour reaction.

"Really Finch, ugh this is going to be a long six weeks."

As John escorted Joss into the house to the stares of twenty three women, and a scowling Shaw, that were hoping to get the chance to at least go on a date with him some smiled sweetly some looked at Joss like not for long b***ch and the rest just acted like she didn't exist. Everybody in the room seemed the have the same thought simultaneously**, Let The Games Begin.**


End file.
